The New World

I had been wanting to see this movie for a while. I love historical dramas and especially ones that feature Native Americans (see, I didn't say Indians). I noticed that the movie was 2.5 hours long. OK, a lot of good movies are long, like Braveheart, Lord of the Rings, etc.

Five minutes into the movie, I'm wondering if this is a joke. The editing looks like it was done by a ticked-off monkey carrying a weed-eater. Did director/writer/editor Terrance Malik develop extremely short-term memory and forgot that he already had most of these scenes in the movie? There was no need to see the same exact scene from 85 different perspectives. This didn't happen every now and then but on every scene. Dear Lord, how many camera men had to sacrifice their lives to this project?

OK, bad editing. What about the writing; the dialogue? What little actual lines were in the movie, were very, um, cheesy, for lack of a better term. The actors would say things that were obvious from the 50 takes that we got to see. When some dialogue was needed, we got more silent footage. When quiet moments are taking place, there's a "duh, let me tell you what's happening" line being said, very much like John Madden had written the script.

But Malik had to follow the historical accounts, right? Surely he wouldn't make the same mistake as the Disney cartoon a few years ago and go with the John Smith love interest? Nope. It's there in all it's make-believe glory. Therefore, this movie can't even be used as a documentary. Apparently, Pocahontas' real life wasn't exciting enough without adding to it. I'm surprised Malik didn't bring in the talking trees and animals from the cartoon.

OK, what about the acting? This was one of the high points of this low movie. The actors were all top notch, delivering spectacular performances. Their pain, joy, and sorrow was all to evident in just watching them. They delivered their hearts and their work is to be praised. Another bit of praise goes to James Horner for his musical score. Not his best work, but still very good.

I cannot recommend this movie to anybody that doesn't have insomnia. If you do, here's the cure. When the "graphic fight sequences" make you drowsy, it's time to move on, this movie sucks. When you see this movie in the store, don't even make eye contact. Maybe it will keep Malik from killing cinema again.

Movies By The Angry Critic

I love movies, acting, everything about performing. Like most of you, I watch a lot of movies. Some are good, more are o.k., but most suck horribly. I was in need of a new place to vent about these God-Awful movies to. Most of my friends and family will no longer watch a movie with me because I can either guess the ending or sit and make bad jokes about the movie all the way through it. So, now I have the Internet on which to spill my rage and keep me from sitting atop the movie theatre with a rifle.

I had a spot picked out and everything.

So, from now on, I will have the title of the movie or occasional show in the subject line, with my usual scathing, or rare good review of said productions. These may not all be new movies. They may be a month, year, or even decade old. Unlike most, um.... paid critics, however, I will give accurate reviews (from my P.O.V.) and not what the studios tell me to say, like a lot of professional reviewers.

So, without further ado, here we go.